Monday, March 12, 2012

The Walking Dead Episode Recap - Giving Kids Guns, Lady Macbeth, and BFF's

By Carlo Nuño at 2:56 PM


Last night's Walking Dead episode took a little step towards resembling more of the Elizabethan/Greek tragedies show runner Glen Mazzara, and his drove of writers and directors always use as the framework for just about every show they have ever worked on, rather than the slow rotting corpse the characters in the show are trying to avoid.


The episode began with Rick and the gang mourning the loss of Dale. For those of you with a short memory Dale was the white-bearded, pretentious, my morality is greater than yours, and even though the world is overrun by flesh eating zombies and we're living in tents we can still uphold the ideals of a civilized society character. You know...that guy? Anyways, two weeks ago he was ravaged by the zombie that got away from Little Lone Ranger Carl, in such a gruesome way even Joaquin Phoenix loved it. Fast forward to last night's episode and everyone is sad and remembering the good times they had with Dale. Seriously though, Dale's death was inevitable. Anyone who dresses like they are going out for an afternoon On Golden Pond is clearly not facing the reality of being in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. Just sayin'.

Soon after Dale's wake Rick has finally decided what he is going to do with Randall. You remember the teenager who was a member of the Philly Fanatics? That gang of crazed Eagles fans that were on their way to Flowery Branch, Georgia with their Vick jerseys on to flash mob the Falcons during training camp but on the way were attacked by zombies and shot at Rick, Hershel, and Glenn a few episodes back? (Too much?) Yeah Randall, who then impaled himself on a rod iron fence, screamed for help, was saved by Rick (who he was just shooting at minutes before), stitched up by Hershel (who he also shot at), then hogtied by Rick, almost left to be eaten alive by zombies twice, beat up by Daryl, almost shot in the face by Rick but then saved by Little Lone Ranger Carl, then tied back up and left alone in the barn. (Damn...sucks for you bro.)

Just before Rick is going to take Randall out for what I hoped would be his last ride (I mean seriously, just kill the poor kid already) Shane "suggests" to Rick that he talk to Little Lone Ranger Carl about zombies, guns, and if needed the birds and the bees. If you find yourself giving a gun to a 10-12 year old (something Dale would NOT approve of) and telling him to protect himself, you might be a redneck...or in a zombie apocalypse.

During Rick's heart to heart with Little Lone Ranger Carl Lori, Rick's wife, has a little heart to heart of her own with Rick's BFF Shane. I am so sick of Lori for so many reasons. One minute she tries to be an innocent mother caught in a terrible situation only looking to hold her family together. the next she is clutching to Rick and whispers in his ear the dangers of his friends and if they are to survive actions must be taken. Lori is the Lady Macbeth of this show, like in Shakespeare's epic (or Edward de Vere depending on what you believe) Macbeth, General Macbeth becomes King of Scotland and his wife Lady Macbeth constantly challenges his manhood and suggests that he must kill those around him in order to secure their claim to the throne. Hmmm...

Lady Macbeth goes to Shane and in an albeit unknowingly manipulative tearful apology/thank you reveals that she truly does not know who is the father of the baby in her tummy which, predictably sends Shane over the emotional edge. Sigh...seriously bitch!? Rick, Lori, and Shane just need to get together, give Lori a test, sit down in front of the rest of the group and have Hershel do his best Maury impersonation and get the fucking results already!

Seeing red Shane abducts Randall (yes, again) tells him he wants out of this group and tells Randall to take him to join the Philly Fanatics. After a few more feet Shane kills Randall (thank god, put him out of his misery) and runs himself into a tree to make it seem like Randall clocked him then escaped. Shane tells everyone about the amazing Randall that used his magic skills to escape his bonds and make a run for it. Rick takes his BFF Shane and goes off to look for Randall.

It soon gets dark and Rick and Shane find themselves still out in the woods looking for a teenager who, given the circumstances...you know alone at night in the woods with no weapon and oh yeah ZOMBIES everywhere, is probably not alive. Glenn and Daryl are also side by side looking for the same super survivalist teenager. During which time Daryl, using his Sherlock Holmes type deductive detective skills, immediately figures out Shane's a douche bag liar (didn't need much). Suddenly Glenn and Daryl are attacked by zombie Randall! Wait what? Randall wasn't bitten...his neck was snapped by Shane. That's right ladies and gentlemen apparently in Georgia you don't need to be bitten by a zombie to become a zombie, all you have to do is die. That is all it takes.

BFF's Rick and Shane have now stumbled out of the woods and into an open pasture lit only by the pale moon light. At this point Rick has realized his BFF (who slept with his wife, and acted as a father for the Little Lone Ranger Carl) made up the Randall escaping story to get Rick out alone so he, the better man, could kill him. In an exchange that seemed eerily similar (minus the charm) to Doc Holiday's introduction in Tombstone, Rick stabs his BFF in the chest and then cries about it for a minute (I don't know why the guy was a dick).

Rick looks up and notices Little Lone Ranger Carl standing there pointing a gun at dear old dad. As Rick is trying to convince Little Lone Ranger Carl to not shoot him, not bitten freshly new zombie (still don't understand this) Shane gets up and goes after Rick. Little Lone Ranger Carl ends Shane's short attempt at revenge by blasting fake daddy Shane in the face with the gun his real dad Rick had given him. So poetic.

Next week is the season 2 finale...I would love to see Lori Lady Macbeth be tormented by Shane's ghost for the rest of the series. Out damned spot! Out!

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